For my Father

John Cornell Dover, son of John and Ida, husband to Carol, father of John Andrew, Wesley, and Sydney.

Take a look at yourself now, you're exactly where you wanted to be and where you deserve to be. You've finally moved out of the great plains and into the Pacific coast. You've been promoted to the point where you're the boss. What about me, though? I'm still living off Mom, I can't find a job, if I had one, chances are rent and utilities would leave me broke. I'd be choosing between food and shelter, and I'd probably choose food. Heck, I may end up choosing a guitar or amp over rent!
My studies have gotten me nowhere thus far. I can't focus, studying has become a chore, my social skills have skyrocketed, but my once strong work ethic has been compromised. Should I have taken music? It was the only thing I knew I was good at back then. That said, I was playing guitar for about four years at the time and haven't done much else in terms of music. I didn't take piano or violin or voice for ten years or so, I haven't taken any royal conservatory, I only knew basic theory. I could carry a tune or recite rock and roll history like nobody's business, but I'm illiterate when it comes to complex music theory, and it just gets more and more confusing with each class. Everyone else in class can look at it, do all the math and guesswork in their heads and figure it out in seconds, leaving me in a trail of dust.
What is it? Was it because your life was so much harder than mine that made you work harder for what you desired? What's keeping me from simply getting an arts degree? What's keeping me from even getting a job? If I've never worked this hard in my life, how can I train myself? I'd give anything to have your skills, your credentials, your work ethic, your ambition. I'd give anything to be able to settle down and start a family within the next ten years. I just don't know where I'm going or how I will get there. I'd give anything for your sense of direction. I love you, and I'm glad you came home, even if just for a weekend, but there are so many questions that have gone unanswered. I don't want to grow up as a lazy spoiled brat. I want to fight for what I want.
What I'm saying is, I appreciate what you do for us Dad. I appreciate it more than you could know.